Don't Judge Me

Do not treat me like

I am the problem,

when the real issue is you

and your attitude

And outlook on life.

You may be a son,

but you are

not

the sun.

The world doesn’t revolve

around you.

We each have an orbit.

Stop hinting that you and your orbit are superior.

You aren’t God

as much as you act like you think you are,

Which is odd since you worship one.

So instead of looking down your nose at me,

try looking in a mirror

and judge yourself

before you go judging me.

Between the Lines

Very few people want to read what I write\

I’m not young

I don’t draw cool illustrations

I haven’t been discovered

and gone viral.

But I keep writing

because that is what I do

to keep sane.

Words shall set you free/.

Writing is my outlet

the painful venting thoughts

which name names

and are unfiltered,

and contain harsh assessments of my worth.

No one can read those.

Those I write for me only

in the hope that

someday

those thoughts will exist only on paper.

I publish the things

that I think won’t hurt anyone I know.,

Maybe thats why no one reads them.

Read between the lines.

There are people hidden there.

 

Cold Rain

Rain

Cold rain

Too warm to snow here

Just gray

And foggy

And rainy.

Christmas in the south,

Raindrops instead of snowflakes,

Mud instead of snow drifts.

Missing my mountains,

Missing the crisp dry cold

That gave way to a bright sun and blue skies.

Somehow the north felt warm when it was 30

And the south feels cold when it’s 50.

Damp, not dry.

Better for my skin,

and hair.

Harder on my disposition.

Right thing to do?

My one year reflection.

One year ago I was packing and cleaning up.

Saying my goodbyes.

I was petrified.

I was excited.

I was about to close the door,

on people and a place I dearly loved,

To start a new chapter by going to where I knew no one,

The scenery and weather would be vastly different.

Everything would be different.

I was in turmoil and hoping, maybe even praying

that I had made a good decision.

It wasn’t an easy thing to decide or do.

And it hurt, a lot.

I figured it was probably the right thing to do

And if it didn’t work out

I would find a new path.

At least, that’s how I explained it to myself.

That no matter how it turned out

I would gain something from it,

So, therefore, it was the right thing to do.

What I knew for sure was

it felt like it  was time for me to leave,

whether I was 100% on board with it or not.

I’m still not sure if it was the right decision

But I do know that I made a new start

Job, place, people.

It may not be a perfect fit,

But it fits

well enough

for me to be happy.

And to feel like I am part of something,

a community..

To feel like

I am making a difference,

at work

and in a city where little things

Can mean a lot.

And that makes my decision right.

Even if sometimes it feels a little off

And maybe a little wrong.

I haven’t failed.

I don’t feel like I need to leave.

And that is good enough for me.

For now.

Heart and Soul

I want this to happen, said my heart.

I don’t know how to make this happen, said my head.

I’m afraid it will happen and scared that it won’t work, said my scars.

You will never forgive yourself if you don’t try, said my conscience.

I need this, said my soul.

Four around the table

Coffee shop musings.

Four Around the Table

Four around the table,

Coffees all around.

Only illness and vacations

Keep them away.

11 am every Sunday,

It’s their form of church.

Practical, spiritual, random.

No matter what they discuss,

Weather, football, politics,

It’s all good.

Agree, discuss, question,

Getting to the heart

Of the matter,

A gift every week

To spend time

With people they love,

For who they are.

Friends.

Around the table.

Four coffees,

Four voices,

Living a tradition,

in a coffee shop.

Can't Please Everybody

Not sure where this came from. Not sure where I wanted it to go.

Can’t please everybody

In everyone’s life a little rain must fall.

Can’t grow without it.

Everyone and everything needs water to survive.

It’s the constant clouds that

Can get to you.

Sometimes I feel like

The clouds follow me,

Dropping rain on my parade,

So to speak.

Scaring me off with lightning.

Too many cliches?
Too little subatnce?

It rains,

It sometimes pours

Rain can help things grow

Rain can cause a flood.

Sometimes I say the right thing

Sometimes I don’t.

And once the words are out there

Can’t take them back.

Apologies are words.

And sometimes they’re enough.

Can’t please everybody

And life is too short to try.

Does that mean I’m bitter?

No.

I just prefer sometimes prefer reality.

If all you do is try to please other people,

Who is pleasing you?

Singing in the library lobby

Singing in the central library lobby

A piano,

Sheet music,

A few adult singers,

an eight year boy,

Singing together,

Not perfect,

Miss a word or note here and there,

Applause from passers-by after each song.

A small audience builds,

Voices soar to the third floor.

This is holiday spirit.

This is what community is all about.

Music,

The universal language

Showing how

Something as simple as singing

Can bring people together

Regardless of age, color, religion, wealth.

Singing in the library lobby,

Vibrant rather than silent.

Sometimes all it takes is a song

To make a difference

In someone’s day.

To bring a smile

To someone’s face,

To put music and hope

Back in their heart.

Almost Midnight

Struggling to write

Something that makes sense.

Something that is meaningful.

Something,

Anything,

Just need to find words

String them together

Add punctuation

Give it a title

Save it to the hard drive,

Publish it to the blog,

And consider it done.

Just another day at the office,

So to speak.

Just another day

Of trying to be creative

Before the clock strikes twelve.

And I turn into a pumpkin,

Or a sleep deprived adult.

NaNo Poem: One sided life

One sided life

One side gets

The other gives

One side takes

The other loses

One side leads

The other follows

One side pushes

The other falls back

One side pulls

The other gets yanked.

One side wins

The other loses

One side talks

The other listens

One side orders

The other complies

One side controls

The other

Until

The other decides to fight back.

NaNo Poem: Procrastinstion

Procrastination

Procrastination is not considered to be

a good thing.

However,

for me, it is an art.

It is how I create.

I need to let my thoughts

     Percolate

     in my brain,

and come out

fully brewed,

I let my thoughts decide

when they are ready

to come out.

It seems that my thoughts know

how long they need

and when my deadlines are.

They just cut it a little too close for comfort

sometimes.

Like that one thing you are cooking

that just needs a little more time,

right when you need to be heading out the door,

But you wait

Because you really want it

and you know

it will be worth waiting for.

So, I plan my projects,

Knowing full well.

That when my thoughts are ready,

They will be served.

And until then,

I just stir the pot,

Add some seasoning,

And wait.

NaNo poem: I would write all night

I could write all night

I could write all night

if I could stay awake,

and my thoughts would flow

through my head,

Emptying my brain

without stopping to sleep,

Until I got the words out

of my head

and onto paper.

or a computer screen..

And then what would I do?

What good would an empty brain be?
Probably better that I sleep

and start again tomorrow,

So I don’t run out

of things to say.

I could write all night,

but I won't.