Feelings is too trite a title

A thank you letter

   in verse,

because I do verse better than prose

   and far better than talking aloud.

Feelings are an interesting thing for me.

I have them,

   sometimes so strong that they paralyze me,

   or I hold them in for so long

   that when they burst out it’s like my mouth has been taken over

   by an alien being who doesn’t

   look,

      act,

         or sound like me,

Except it is my voice, 
and it is me
 saying or doing  something

too strong,

because it built and built and built up

   until

      boom!

an uncontrollable explosion of emotion,

more like spontaneous combustion.

And all those casualties,

   injuries,

      and collateral damage

that could have been avoided

if I had

just

   spoken

      up

         sooner,

like when the feeling started,

rather than letting it grow

stronger

   and stronger

      and stronger,

bigger,

   and bigger,

      and bigger.

feeding on itself,

like a tumor
rather than

growing
and blooming
softly
pretty
 like a flower.

that just needs a little rain

sun,

and nurturing
to open slowly

in a non threatening manner.

Now wouldn’t that be something.

Nurture a feeling

by allowing outside sources to feed it

and observe it

   grow

      into something beautiful.

and if it dies,

from too much

or too little,

that’s just how it is,

circle of life,

no shame

no blame

a natural course

rather than an explosion

that catches the world

off guard.

Oops,

not a thank you letter

or thank you poem

at all.

Instead it is a letter

about my inability to express my feelings

except in written verse.

I guess that makes this an apology letter

of sorts

to past, present, and future

shrapnel victims.

Or, maybe it is a thank you

to those past, present, and future victims

for incurring,
   possibly absorbing,
   or ignoring,
   or fighting off

whatever it is that may fly out of my mouth.

Landmines.

We all step around them

   into them,

      place them.

Some are intentional,

Others not.

Mine are unintentional in that I don’t intentionally set them.

On the other hand, one could say

they are intentional because I know I am setting myself up to explode
   if provoked
   at the wrong time
   in the wrong way
   (or is it the right way).

Either way,

I apologize

and thank you.

for being privy to my feelings

and living to tell the tale.