Sunday, December 24, 2023

I Am A Writer

The writing theme was "who you really are."  A story came out, fiction rooted in fact.

1. Conversation with a stranger

Well worn jeans, 

a plaid flannel hiding a black t-shirt

faded ballcap on his salt and pepper hair,

He came over to where she was sitting

and asked if she was a writer.


Well, I like to write,

But it's mainly for me.


Ah, then you are a writer, he said.


I guess if you put it that way,

I am.

Do you want to sit down?


If I do, will you ask me my life story?


Only if you want to tell it, she smiled.


He pulled out the chair,

Put his backpack on the ground

What do you want to know?


It can begin that simply

with a few questions, answers, and smiles

What happens next

depends on what you hear

What you say

What you ask

And what you decide to hold back.


2. Thinking back

Later she thought about that place

that moment

When she looked up and saw him standing there

When he asked her that question

"Are you a writer?"


She had always known she was,

But no one had ever asked her

And if they commented about her writing

it was usually in a way

that made her either pull back

or feel like she had to defend herself.


"Are you a writer?"
Yes.

And I am still writing

because of a man I met once

who trusted me enough

to tell me his story,

In return he gave me the gift of

acknowledgment

that yes, 

I am a writer.

He showed me that

validation can come

in the most unexpected way

at the most unexpected time,

The more unexpected, the more special it is.


3.

Writing is who I am.

It's what I do

It's how I tell my story

It's how i bear my pain

It's how I heal, recover, live, laugh, love.

 am 

      a 

        writer.



Thursday, December 21, 2023

Today's Prayer, written during Winter Solstice in a confusing world

Written after listening to a reading of "How to Pray While the World Burns" by Hill Ratzabi. https://lilith.org/2023/10/how-to-pray-while-the-world-burns/

Precious drops of life

We pray for ourselves

  For others

  For things we can't control

We pray for 

peace  

                    understanding  

                                           love


Oseh shalom bimromav,

May the one who makes peace in his high places

Hu ya'aseh shalom alienu

Make peace for all of us

Peace

Blessings

Memories

Gifts.


God, Goddess, overseeing being

What role do you have in my life?

What role do you have in the world?

Divine power?

Divine countenance?

Judge?

Guide?

Creator of everything?
Creator of nothing?


Planet earth is

  revolving

Living beings are

  evolving

Reality is

  blurring.


The ground is real

I can feel it

I dig, walk, kick up dust and rocks.

The sky surrounds me

I see blue, gray, sun, clouds, moon, stars, purple, orange, black.

I reach out my hand and think I'm touching the sky

But all I feel is air

   slipping 

               through my 

                                 fingers.




What am I Holding?

I attend a Thursday morning online healing/writing session, Holding Each Other, hosted by RitualWell.

Today's prompt:

What is holding me right now as I bear witness to what is happening in the world?

What am I holding?


The world

is a big place

full of happiness and tragedies.

The tragedies are becoming harder to ignore.

Are they toughening us?

Are they toughening me?

Or creating new norms?

I look

I listen

I see signs

I hear words

that turn my stomach.

Words and images of hatred and violence 

that scare me

for my own safety

for the safety of fellow humans

for my children's future

for everyone's future.


I feel like I am bearing witness

to hundreds (probably thousands) of years 

of misery, tyranny, subservience, control, supposed inferiority and superiority

Coming uncorked.

No one should be made to feel miserable

No one should be bullied

No one should be controlled

No one is superior.

No one is inferior.


What am I holding in me right now?

Hope that the world

can recover from the assault,

can recover from the landslide into the darkness of hate.

can recover from the avalanche of war and fighting.

Hope that my country will survive

Hope that the world will survive

Hope that my children's world will not be as bad as it looks like it will be.


Hope, 

sometimes it feels like that's all I have

because reality is so depressing.

Sometimes my hope holds me up.

Sometimes my hope makes me feel like it's too late

Sometimes my hope is enough.

Sometimes my hope makes me feel so hopeless

that I want to give up.


Hope

I hold my hope tightly

I don't want to let it go.

Hope

Please, I pray, 

Let my hope stay with me

Let some of my dreams come true.

Let my children have hopes and dreams

and hold them close

and have the joy of seeing

Dreams come true

Hopes become real.

Hold them close

The hopes, the dreams, the children,

And someday,

        watch     

                them     

                        fly.