Saturday, January 30, 2021

Another day

 I write about time a lot. Maybe I have too much time on my hands? Or maybe not as much as I'd like to have.

Another day,

Another cup of coffee,

One more walk in the park,

Stops at the bakery and market.

A day without plans..

Time to fill,

With as little or as much,

as I want.

Time with no obligations,

to anyone but me.

Time with nothing owed,

to anyone except myself.

Time to sit in a public place,

And pretend I’m invisible, 

Watch people wandering, sitting, talking, laughing,

Wonder who they are,

Why they are here,

What they are talking and laughing about.

Another day, 

to ponder 

the passage of time,

Plan the future,

And enjoy

the present.

 

I miss you, friend

 A personal one. They;re all personal, in a way, but this one for a different reason.

Dear Friend,

I miss you,

I miss your voice, your hugs, 

Your stories, and jokes,

Walking side-by-side on trails and sidewalks,

Listening to music together in the car,

On the road to another adventure,

Feeling a mixture of awe and jealousy when you mention seeing the band live,

I miss seeing your eyes twinkle,

And the way your face crinkles when you smile.

I miss commiserating about age, people, and life in general.

I miss all the times I wondered,

Why do I spend so much time with someone

I have feelings for,

Knowing their feelings aren’t the same.

I miss the regret for moments when

I wanted to tell you how you felt

And didn’t.

I miss you, 

My friend, hiking buddy, music buddy, 

Fellow traveler and solitary soul. 

I miss our closeness,

Conversations and banter,

Our silences together.

I miss you.

 

Wednesday, January 20, 2021

The United Divided States of America

This came out as I was watching the inauguration and lamenting the exodus of friends from Facebook, due to political vitriol.

This is our country.

We live in it,

Together,

Even though we are different, 

Even though we don’t agree on some fundamental things.

Even though we don’t always trust or respect each other.

Even though we express ourselves differently.

We are America.

Distanced by thoughts and beliefs.

Distanced by income, occupation, 

Geography, rural, suburb, urban,

Color, sexual orientation,

Religion.

We are Americans.

United in patriotism.

United in fear for the future,

United and divided by passion.

United and divided,

We hope to stand.

Tall and proud,

United, 

For the good of us all.

 



Where Were You Then

 This could be much longer, but I’m only posting part one now. Not sure if I will post the rest of what I wrote, This is a thought process and I’m not done thinking.

Reading comments by religious people expressing outrage

And fear

That a transgender person is being nominated to head the Health Department.

While I understand that they may perceive this as ungodly, 

I wonder,

Where was this indignation and fear over the moral trajectory of our country,

When you voted for a man who talked about grabbing women by the pussy?

When you voted for a man who was dating wife number two while married to wife number one?

Where was this indignation and fear,

When the man you voted for mocked a disabled person 

And was cheered by his supporters?

Where was the indignation and fear when,

A white supremist was a high level advisor to the man you voted for?

Where was this indignation when as president, 

He called white supremists fine people?

Where has your outrage and fear been

As our country has become further divided,

By his rhetoric and action?

Where was your outrage when he lied

And lied and lied,

And lined his family’s pockets.

Because he never divested his business interests.

Where was your fear and outrage,

As the government he led

Rewarded the rich, 

Took from the middle class and poor,

And helped corporations instead of people?

When they ignored basic Christian principles and

Blamed the needy 

Instead of helping them?


I see and hear your outrage and fear

When people say or do something you feel is ungodly.

That seems rational and understandable.

And it would be,

if that outrage and vitriol had been present,

for ungodly acts not related to someone’s sexual orientation.

If you judged people upon the merits of their work,

If you treated all people as equal,

instead of below you because they don’t worship your God the way you do.

Instead of liberal or stupid because they hold different political beliefs.

I hear you. I see you,

I feel for you.

And I wonder, would you be less outraged and fearful

If you judged less and listened more?

Saturday, January 16, 2021

Blank Page

 It always begins with a blank page. Sometimes I get lucky and a thought appears.

It’s a blank page,

Not a canvas,

Keystrokes instead of brush or chalk or graphite,

It begins as a blank page,

And gets filled with letters, 

That form words and phrases,

To tell a story,

Or focus on imagery and emotion.

A page to be read on paper oir a screen

Not a canvas to be viewed in a frame on the wall.

DIssected,

Interpreted,

Ignored,

Loved,

Hated,

Art.

Born of creativity.

Visceral,

Emotional,

Page or canvas,

The goal is to touch your soul.


 

 

Thursday, January 14, 2021

Some Days

 

Some Days


Some days it hurts to be human.

Too many tears,

Too many perceived mistakes, failures, put-downs.

Too much anxiety about things beyond my control.

Too much, too much, too much.

Want to walk, run, hide,

Want to scream, punch, throw,

Want to rage uncontrollably.

Don’t want to feel the need to do those things.

Don’t want to feel those emotions. 

Don’t want to feel broken.


Some days,

I hurt.

Some days,

I find it hard to be human.

Some days,

I wish I could 

tune out the world,

And not worry about the future,

Not worry about work or family or friends,

Not worry about how someone interprets my words or actions.

Some days,

I just want to 

disappear from view,

Relax my brain,

Enjoy what I have,

Enjoy the moment,

Enjoy the things I do right.

Some days, 

I don’t want to leave my safe zone,

I don’t want to return

to being human,

The discord, disconnects, disappointments.

I don’t want to return to reality,

Hearing, seeing, getting caught up in

dissonance,

Words and actions I don’t understand.

I know

I can’t control what other people do,

I know

I can’t always control what I do.

Being human is hard.

Some days I love everything about life,

Some days are up and down,

And some days I want to give up.

But I don't quit,

And I never will.

I like being a human,

And for the most part,

It’s worth the effort and pain.



Fact, Opinion, and Freedom

 Something I read set me off on a long train of thought.

Facts, Opinions, and Freedom

Part one: 

Not everyone agrees on the numbers.

So let’s talk about facts.

COVID exists.

People get COVID.

Some people die from it.

Some people recover and have lasting medical issues.

Some people recover and don’t seem to have lasting issues.

Some people have severe symptoms.

Some people have moderate symptoms.

Some people have mild symptoms.

Some people have no symptoms.

Most Doctors agree that wearing a mask reduces your chance of spreading germs.

Most Doctors agree that wearing a mask can reduce your chance of getting sick if you are around people not wearing a mask.

Not everyone wants to wear a mask.

Many people who wear a mask don’t like it but they do it anyway.

Some people refuse to wear a mask.

Some people believe the doctors and want to do the right thing so they wear a mask.

Some people believe that wearing a mask infringes on their freedom.

People who wear a mask think people who don’t wear a mask are endangering their safety and things will not get better until we do everything possible to slow the spread.

People who don’t wear a mask say that it is their right and if someone is afraid they should stay home.


Two questions:

Why should the people who want to wear a mask and follow the rules and/or guidance be told to stay home?

Shouldn’t the people who want to break the rules be told to stay home?


Part Two:

Facts aren’t the whole story.

Opinions about facts influence what we decide to do.

Some people are very protective of their opinions

Some people get defensive about their opinions.

Some people may bully or get violent in defense of their opinions.

Freedom is a strong word.

According to the Oxford Languages dictionary,

Freedom is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

We have the freedom to make our own decisions.

We have the freedom to choose to break the law and face the consequences.

We have the freedom to choose to do unto others as we would have them do unto us.

We have the freedom to honor society’s needs or reject them based on personal beliefs.

We have the freedom to respect the health and safety of others or not to show that respect, based on personal beliefs.

We have the freedom to make decisions and speak out based upon personal beliefs.

We have the freedom to make our own decision about what is the right thing to do.

We have the freedom to do what we want to do.

We have the freedom to think that we are accountable to no one except ourselves.

We have the freedom to accept or not accept the consequences of our words and actions.

Our enforcement agencies have the freedom to hold us accountable.

Our families and friends have the freedom to hold us accountable.

Private companies have the right to hold us accountable by refusing service or banning us.


Part three:

Freedom is a beautiful thing.

Freedom is core to democracy.

I don’t want to lose my freedom.

I don’t want my country to rescind freedom.

I don’t want to live under fascism or Communism or any system that takes away my freedom.

As much as I love my freedom to think, speak, and act I realize that how I exercise my freedom can have consequences for others.

Freedom can be abused and used as an excuse for selfish behavior.

I don’t want to be a selfish person.

I don’t want to be around selfish people.

I want to be a person who does the right thing,

Respects the health and safety of others,

Respects the rights of others,

Respects my community.

I want to be a good person,

I want to be a good citizen.

I want to be a good example for my children and anyone else who looks to me for guidance.

I want to be healthy and alive for as long as possible.

I am appalled and disappointed by those who have so little respect for others that they purposefully make choices that endanger innocent people.

I am scared about what is happening in my community, my state, my country.

We should be better than this.

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

I Am One Person

My response to someone saying this to me on Facebook, “... but hey, you go right ahead and use them to belittle people with whom you disagree. It’s so superior of you.”

I’m not superior. 

I’m one little person

Trying to get answers

Trying to cope with my world being turned upside down

Trying to understand how, to me, it seems like one person became the symbol and a catalyst

For the destruction of American democracy and ideals.

When I speak up through words or sharing a poem or song or photo,

I don’t mean to belittle anyone.

I just want us to do better, be better, and make things better than they are now.

I’m ashamed that the world being created for my children is this one.

I don’t want to leave this legacy for my children.

But I’m only one person.

I don’t know everything.

I’m not responsible for anyone other than me.

I don’t have the power to change the world or our country

I don’t have the power to help everyone I want to help.

I don’t have the power to know with 100% certainty what is best for our country.

I don’t have the power to understand everything going on in other people’s lives and their backgrounds, and their reasons for their views and actions.

I am one person.

The only power I have is to speak up

And occasionally interject humor

Sing a few songs,

And hope I’m helping someone make sense of something, or laugh, or sing, or heal.