Wednesday, January 31, 2018

No words today

Sometimes the words don’t come.
Thoughts go in and out of my head,
But none stay long enough
to warrant writing them down.

That is different than the times
that I have the words
and don't take the time to write them down. 
Shame on me for that.

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Time to let this tired old body rest

Yes, I have been preoccupied with thoughts about death lately. And no I am not depressed. Having elderly parents changes your perspective as they age and can no longer fight off illness and injury the way they used to.

When there's nothing more to be done,
when there's nothing left to say.
Feeling overwhelmed by
guilt,
frustration,
and helplessness.
Wishing the last part of the journey
could be quicker,
while wishing the
journey didn't have to end
now.

When there's nothing more to be done,
nothing left to say,
except goodbye,
we will miss you,
and thank you.
You have earned your rest.


It's time to let your body rest.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Close my eyes and sleep forever

Every time I close my eyes
terror grips my heart
Will my memories
leave me forever
while I am sleeping?
Names and words, time and places,
come and go,
and I can't control my thoughts or my words.

The one thing that stays in my head
haunts me.
It's a question.
And I know the answer
and knowing the answer makes me so tired.
Because I don't want to get there
even though I know I am close.
What is the point of living
when the voices all sound the same
and you don't recognize the face
of the person who is holding your hand?

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Super Blue Blood Moon

Lame attempt at writing a poem about the upcoming super blue blood moon. Hopefully I will write something profound after it occurs.

Super blue blood moon
Or something like that.
Maybe the recent super moons
are related
to the behavior
some of us think
Has been a bit unusual
Unruly,
Unique.

Super moon,
lunar eclipse,
and blue moon,
All at the same time.
A good reason
to get up earlier than usual
to step outside
and focus on the sky
instead of yourself.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Writing Class Reflection

Why do I write?
I write because I can.
I write because of how it makes me feel
I write because letting thoughts out of my head helps me, its therapeutic.
I write because maybe someone will read something I’ve written and it will strike a chord in their heart.
I write because writing is easier for me to express emotions than speaking.
I write because I want to communicate.

Why am I here in a writing class?
I am here because I want guidance,
I am hoping to get some ideas.
I am hoping to get some inspiration,
And mainly, I am hoping to get some validation.

I am here for me.
And it feels good to say that.

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Left Behind

They left me here
this morning.
Just said goodbye
and walked out the door.
What did they expect me to think?
How did they expect me to feel?
What am I supposed to do now?
They left me here
with no way to call
anyone
and no way for my anyone
to call me.
In a room
without a spouse
or child
or friend.
They left me here
alone,
not even a phone.
How could they do that
to me?

Monday, January 22, 2018

Time to write a happy poem

I really wanted to write a happy, light poem tonight. Maybe I did.

Writing a light poem
can be harder
than writing
an emotional tirade.
Why is it that
Happiness and humor
are harder to communicate
than sadness and bitter thoughts?
I suppose there could be a joke
in there
somewhere.
But looking for it
might take more effort
than a lightweight poem
warrants.
Don't be heavy,
think light
poetry light
happy light.
Leave the darkness out
of the creative process
today.
Deep breath.
Feels good.
Is that a smile?
Mission accomplished.

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Lullaby

Write a lullaby, she said.
Maybe if you write
a lullaby
The soothing words and melody
Will help you
relax
and feel at peace.

Picture a rocking chair
Gently creaking
a comforting rhythm.
Warm hands and arms,
holding you close enough
to feel
the beating of someone else’s heart.
Rocking.
Back and forth,
Back and forth.
Until sleep comes.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Women’s Movement Redux, 2018

It’s time.
Day one of year two.
Hoping for a resurrection
Hoping for a new beginning
Hoping to build on momentum
And work on a future filled with new voices.
Marching, speaking, listening,
Writing, reading, listening.
Acting up,
Acting proud.
Standing up.
Standing proud.
Speaking up,
And being heard.
Working on building a future
Free of the hatred
That provoked a strong and much needed response.
Hate infused rhetoric and actions
are causing a revolution.
A revolution of words, actions, and hope.
Pink hats,
Pussy jokes,
Caustic signs.
can’t change things.
Speaking, Listening, Stepping up, and Voting
Are what matter.
But, oh the joy of seeing
all those pink pussy hats,
and colorful crowds,
A sea of change is on the horizon.
Time to bring it home.

Friday, January 19, 2018

Time Always Wins

Time.
There's no more tick tock,
no more marching to the beat,
no more racing the clock.
Time.
At some point
you can't outrun it,
you can't beat it.
Time.
keeps on moving along
at the same rate
every second, every minute, every hour
of every day.
Time.
The one thing in life
that remains constant,
that we can't change.

There's no reset button.
The earth keeps spinning on its axis
as it rotates around the sun.
The only way to beat time
is to travel across time zones,
but even that is finite,
and in the end,
Time wins.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Stayed up too late, again

A poem written
In honor of
Staying up too late
Again.
Staying up to finish
A daily writing task,
Meet a writing goal.
Start late, end late.
Again.

Why?

Writing can be habit forming
Sometimes excruciating
Sometimes exhausting
Sometimes demanding
Sometimes cathartic or therapeutic
And sometimes it can feel pointless.
Somehow,
It is worth it.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Wear out my Shoes

I'm not sure if this is a song chorus or the beginning of a poem.

Got a need to wear out my walking shoes
Feel the ground beneath my heels
Want my feet to go where they've never been
Wear these shoes out and begin again.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Intrepid

Intrepid.
A feeling I need to develop
for dealing with elderly parents,
siblings,
conflicting emotions,
and an overall feeling of helplessness.

Sunday, January 14, 2018

Goal Achieved

Thinking about taking the night off from writing
and then I remind myself
that I set a goal
to write one poem or song
every day
for a year.
And I wonder,
why do I do things like that?
And why does I feel like
I will be cheating
if I skip a day?
Am I writing because I like it
or because I have to?
Do I want to cross that line,
where my passion
becomes work
and the fun gets sucked out of it?
Why am I stressing over
a personal goal
that doesn't affect anyone except me
and no one will know if I don't meet it?
Why?
Because I will know
and how hard is it really
to sit and write a few thoughts
in verse
instead of watching tv or reading
or doing all of those things
I seem to find
when I don't want to do
what I'm supposed to do?
Procrastination and avoidance
are two of my strongest qualities.
And, yet,
I am meeting my goal
despite my best efforts
to derail myself.
Goal reached.
Procrastination and avoidance lose
today.

Saturday, January 13, 2018

My words give me away

Posting this one totally unedited. 

The more things change
the more they remain the same.
Or maybe I just live in cycles
that repeat themselves.
Looking at something I wrote
over five years ago,
that looks like it could have been written
yesterday
or today
or tomorrow.
To every thing there is a season,
For every right there is a wrong.
And for every word I write
there is another word left unsaid,
that I will write on another day.
And on and on it goes.
Over the years.
I seem to change
but my writing tells me
a story of repeating themes
cycles of grief, anger, love, happiness,
and hope.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Do you like to be alone

That moment
when you realize
that you really like being alone,
a lot,
but not all the time
and not forever.

Winter Thoughts


Don't let the weather bring you to your knees.

Snow and ice,
windy and cold,
a day for sweaters,
hot coffee, tea or cocoa.
A day to avoid driving,
maybe walk outside,
cuddle up inside
with a book,
a dog or cat,
maybe even a human.
Time to enjoy
winter.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Quicksand

I'm still working on this one, but decided to post it anyway. And, no, I am not currently suffering from anxiety or depression. I started with the word worry and it triggered thoughts about interactions with people I have been close to.


The Quicksand of Worry

Why does it feel so comfortable
to wallow in worry?

It slowly sucks you in
And coddles you.
Warm
Secure
Familiar.

Until you realize
it’s quicksand.
And you have to fight
to survive.
Sinking
Thrashing
Scared.

Consumed by worry.
Desperate
to get out
before it kills you.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Waiting for the Storm

Waiting for the storm.
The temperature drop
Wind,
Snow,
Ice,
And maybe rain.
Waiting to see if the
forecasters got it right,
Or if we miss the bad stuff
and it hits somewhere else,
Which would be great for us
and bad for them.
Or maybe it will be worse
than predicted,
Which would be a mess
and a total pain
in every way.
Just waiting for the storm.
The temperature is projected to drop
30 degrees
in less than twenty-four hours.
Waiting to see what path the winds
and moisture will go
Wondering about the roads,
School,
Work,
whether or not my car
will hold up
if I have to drive anywhere.
Wondering if ignoring the warnings
is wiser
than worrying
Waiting for the storm,
Waiting.
Waiting.
It’s not like we can change the weather.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Break Time

Break Time

Taking a night off?
Everyone needs a break
now and then.
Or at least that’s the excuse
being given
for not wanting to play
the usual game.

Sometimes it’s not fun
to play the part
just because that’s what
you’re expected to do.
Sometimes a night off
can help put things
in perspective,
Bring reason
into focus.
Clarify whether the night off
is a temporary reprise.
Or literally a break.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Wander, Reflect, Write

Wander, reflect, write.
A new mantra.
In theory,
a wandering mind provokes thoughts.
Reflecting on the thoughts
may spark an idea,
which can be written down,
thus achieving
creativity.
Seems so simple.
Except when life gets in the way.
Not enough time for a wandering mind.
Or maybe time to wander but not to reflect.
And where is the time and means
to write down that idea
Before it is forgotten?

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Gainsay

Gainsay.
There is no denying
that this word
is confusing.
The gain doesn’t mean gain,
It’s derived from against.
There is no gainsaying
that this word
is difficult to use
in normal
everyday
conversation.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

Vapid

Vapid is the word of the day.
Flat, dull.
Sounds like my social life.
Or it could mean there’s no flavor,
no zest,
no spirit.
Thank you Merriam-Webster online dictionary
for emailing me
such a depressing word.
Just when I thought
I was at peace with myself,
I find a word
That lets me know
That maybe I need to work
on my self esteem
and confidence
a tad more.
So I don’t feel
(wait for it)
vapid.

Friday, January 5, 2018

Wondering

This wasn't intentionally written as a reflection on the state of our country. 
I wrote it based on feelings from dealing with serious family health issues. 
But, as often happens when I'm writing, the words take on a meaning of their own.

Taking it all in stride
Or numb?
Wondering,
How can you tell?
Also wondering,
Is this the new normal?