Recycling the Rut

Reflecting on my previous post

Back in my cycle. 

My well-worn, comfortable rut. 

Wallowing in my wants, 

Looking for the answer that will satisfy my needs. 

Rehashing, Restating, Reliving. 

Old news.

And easy to do,

Instead of redirecting., reaching, and redeeming 

Maybe that will come next.

Will I Ever

Raw, unfiltered, unedited. Getting close to another landmark birthday and I seem to be reflecting more than usual. Dark. Negative. Not so confident. Not so secure. Just thinking, maybe a little too much and a little too deeply and a little too sad. Which, of course, gets my creativity going.

Will I ever meet a man

  who wants to hold me,

  maybe even kiss me,

  more than once.

  Maybe even fall in love with me.

Will I ever meet a man

  who I want to be with

  for the rest of my life,

  or at least several times a week

  for as many weeks as possible,

Will I ever meet a man

  and not feel awkward,

  and not feel socially inept or inadequate,

  and not feel like the chance that he wants to be involved with me

  is slim to none.

Will I ever meet a man

  Who I really hope will call me

    and he does.

  Who I really want to hang out with

    and we do.

  Who feels like my soul mate

   and he is.

Forever Treasure

That moment
when the stars align
for you
and your kids
at the same time.
And you wish
you could bottle it
and savor it
forever.

Becoming my mother, part one

Becoming my mother
was not on my list
of things to do
with my life.
And yet,
here I am.