Wednesday, November 3, 2021

Today's Struggle

Venting about my day and what I observe on a daily basis.

Struggling to focus on the task at hand

Instead of rewinding depressing clips from the day

And watching them in my mind.

There were good moments too.

There were some great moments.

But the ones that keep popping into my head

In full color with the volume turned up,

Make me sad, mad, disappointed, 

and just flat out make me wonder 

What is the point in being hopeful

when this is how entrenched some people are.

How do people get this way?
Partly by observing the behavior of the adults around them.

Partly by being the recipient of the behavior of those adults.

Partly by being fed a stream of hatred and distrust,

Rather than a stream of acceptance.

Bullies beget bullies.

It’s hard for me to understand

Why and how adults justify

Modeling narrow minded hateful behavior.

Threatening and escalating.

Why they want their children to be fearful

Why they want their children to avoid learning about other cultures

Why they constantly yell at and grab their kids

How they can berate their children in front of friends and strangers

And not be ashamed or embarrassed or realize it is wrong.

How, with their children listening, they can call people names based on skin color,

Political party, religion, sexual preference.

I struggle with remaining calm when I observe or interact

With these people whose behavior and words

Disturb me so much,

That they get stuck on replay in my mind.

I try to focus on the happy moments,

The dad who loves libraries and the wide range of materials offered,

The young boy who explained how he was going to color his skull mask,

The mom reading to her daughter, not noticing that other children were listening.

Every day includes happy moments,

Precious moments that shape lives in a positive way

And make me feel better about people, the community, the future.

And every day includes destructive moments 

That seem so routine for those involved.

And I envision the children as clones

Growing up to yell and complain and destroy other’s happiness.

I’m not one of those love is the answer,

Give peace a chance,

Let me give you a flower

And we’ll all live together in harmony,

Kind of people.

I’m too cynical for that.

I think we’re all born innocent

And for a short time,

We’re able to love without judgement.

Our goal is joy in the moment.

But only for a short time.

Parents, clerics, teachers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, cousins, neighbors,

Manage to replace the innocence 

With their brand of knowledge,

Their reasons, their rules,

Their prejudices, their idols.

Time to preach.

We’ve heard this before.

If you live in fear and teach fear,

Your children will most likely be fearful.

If you lovingly live and teach love,

Your children will understand love.

Can you love your children and teach fear?

Unconditional love.

Ah the irony,

That the parent-child bond, 

that parent-child love,

makes it possible to teach hate.