Friday, January 1, 2021

2020 Love Story

2020 Love Story

I fell in love in 2020.

More accurately, I fell back in love,

With things I had neglected or felt guilty about loving.

I fell in love with singing,

Softly, loudly, pretty, gritty.

Interpreting songs rather than.striving to mimic originals.

I fell back in love with songs I used to sing,

Discovered new songs to love,

And sang from my heart,

For anyone who would listen,

And even when no one was there.

I fell in love with searching for songs that spoke to me,

Protest songs, love song, songs about hope, survival, and peace.

I fell in love with unapologetic solitude,

Being alone instead of socializing,

Avoiding crowds.

During 2020 self isolation became normal,

Which made my solitude okay to outsiders trying to look in,

And lessened my self doubt about choosing to be alone.

I learned to love my time alone

To savor my solitude 

To build a border between solitude and loneliness,

And to thrive

Without giving up any part of myself.

I started writing again, 

Deep writing, not just putting words on a page.

I fell in love with the rhythm of thoughts and words,

Percolating in my head and tapping them onto the page.

I became selective about sharing my poems.

With family, friends, on my blog,

and the 20-something clerks at my go-to market.

A market where nearly every purchase includes a conversation.

I fell back in love with writing, 

And the idea that I can call myself a writer.

I ran, biked, and took long walks.

I developed a daily routine to maximize my outdoor time,

Without sacrificing work time.

During safer at home, walking became a societal norm,

So rather than being put on a pedestal for my achievements,

I could talk about it without coming across as bragging.

I fell back in love with setting goals and pushing my physical limits,

The rhythm of pedals, footsteps,

A backpack bouncing on my back.

Rinsing water bottles,

Sweat, dirt, and the the endorphin rush.

Lastly, clothing.

I fell back in love with wearing functionable, non-fashionable sweatpants,

And conquered my shyness about wearing them in public.

Yes, I fell in love in 2020,

And hope that my loves will stick for years to come.

I know it will take work and patience,

But true love is worth it.

Love that makes you happy is worth it.

Love that matters.

Love that’s real.


Thank you 2020 for helping me fall in love again.